The Best Gifts for Every Kind of Queer Person

Happy holi-gays, babes, and congrats on surviving another year! Whether you’re a fellow queer person or merely an ally matters not. What matters, this holiday season, is that you care about a member of the LGBTQ+ community and you’re about to shower them with gifts, bitch. 

Queer people come in many delicious flavors, it’s true. But, no matter who they are to you—your aesthetically astute bestie or sad they/them sibling, platonic life partner or witchy roommate, metamour, maybe-date-mate, local or long-distance lover—odds are you were thinking about buying them a mug with a rainbow on it. Please don’t. We have plenty of mugs. We’ve been mainstream for a while now.

Not sure what the best gifts are for your gay friends? We’ve got you covered. Here’s what we’re getting our queerly beloved this holiday season.

You’re welcome. You can thank them with gifts that are designed to help them recharge for their next rave, pay homage to leather daddies, and invoke the god of gay ambrosia (poppers).

Tom of Finland forever

Beef up your friend’s art book collection with TASCHEN’s big, beautiful volume of Tom of Finland comics. Better yet, wrap it up in this erotic Tom of Finland tote bag that your giftee can then show off at the farmer’s market.

Help them re-energize

Are we willing to try any potion or powder that promises less stress? Absolutely. Moon Juice is a favorite of VICE editors, and its Mini Dew hydration powder is a low-sugar mix of magnesium, copper, calcium, zinc, potassium, and more minerals that are designed to feel like an energizing cold plunge for your brain. It’s the perfect post-rave pick-me-up.

Feel the rush (without the headache)

Ah, the memories. (Or lack thereof.)

Well, whether they’re your friend, sibling, roommate, or stylish bestie, odds are they’re obsessed with unique and artful home decor. Give the gift that keeps giving “omg your place is so cute” vibes all year long.

For the one most likely to start a coven

If there are two things queers love, it’s crystals and cheese—celebrate the solstice with your witchiest pals around this hypnotic agate charcuterie board.

Candles that don’t look like candles

Up next in delightfully gay objects: candles. Queer people sure do love to queue up The Craft and light hella candles, and especially when those candles look like horny Bauhaus pillars, or moody goblincore altar centerpieces.

For the caffeine queen

Fact: The alphabet mafia runs on caffeine. With these sleek electric pour-over kettles and 24/7 access to barista-quality coffee, your queer friend will be unstoppable. Fellow’s Stagg kettle is an iconic kitchen clout item, of course, but this COSORI alternative is also a handsome option with very high ratings on Amazon for its design and many temperature settings.

For the latte bitch

Throw in a milk frother so they can make their oat milk lattes—the gayest of beverages—in the comfort of their own home.

They’re always wearing something cool over that white tank top, aren’t they? Your gay giftee will always appreciate a fresh pack of Fruit of the Loom tanks and a new carabiner, but the following fashion and accessories would make for much more exciting presents.

The only purse they’ll ever need

The streetwear brand Praying makes some of our favorite internet-core jawns and trinkets, from the well-memed Holy Trinity Bikini to this versatile, truth-speaking purse. The lucky recipient can wear it to the club, to a wedding, or to their tax appointment with H&R Block. No wrong answers here.

Non-boring arm candy

They have many box chain necklaces and bracelets, but do they have a Byzantine chain bracelet? That’s what we thought. Cop this intricate arm candy while it’s over $100 off at SSENSE, and don’t miss the site’s epic winter sale.

Big swishy basketball shorts

From the cradle to the grave, we will be in our B-ball shorts. Queer people of all genders will love the comfy swish and subtle sheen of these quick-dry shorts, which have a flattering, slightly higher waist than most contemporary basketball shorts. The pair has also earned 4.5-star average rating on Amazon. As one reviewer explains, “[They’re] good looking and go past the knees. Hard to find that way.”

Look, it’s been a rough year (ok, maybe a rough couple of years) and winter is terrible to one’s hair, skin, and wardrobe options; no wonder we’re sad. Cheer up a queer with one of these thoughtful gifts.

For the overworked and under-appreciated

Acupuncture is spensi, but you know what isn’t? This acupressure mat, which is kind of the Weenie Hut Jr. version of acupuncture, because it is designed to gradually reduce muscle tension when you lay on it for 10 minutes (or more, depending on your needs).

For your most anxious pal

We know, we know: The alphabet mafia never sleeps. But if there’s a queer in your life who would actually like to, then they could probably use a weighted blanket. Bearaby’s bestselling, knitted weighted blanket has that aesthetic Nancy Meyers look to it, but we’re also down for this high-rated, emerald weighted blanket from Amazon that one reviewer calls “Absolutely AMAZING!”

For the water signs

Queer people, and especially queer water signs, love them some Greek mythology. These bath salts combine Eros-worthy branding with the natural, purportedly calming powers of magnesium flakes, and they have a 4.8-star average rating on Amazon from over 14,000 relaxed reviewers. Très potent.

If you’re ready for more of a ho-ho-holiday season, look no further.

For your maybe-date-mate 

Is this a date or are these weirdly romantic, long hangouts just platonic? Fuck around and find out by gifting them these cocktails and skipping the bar—perhaps you can suggest a more intimate place to meet up. (*wink*)

For your long-distance lover

Is there anything queerer than loving the shit out of someone who lives thousands of miles away from you? Urban Stems is a favorite of VICE editors for its quick, reliable shipping and unique bouquets such as The Magnolia. This arrangement feels romantic but not cheesy thanks to its earthy blend of mums, snapdragons, magnolia leaves, eucalyptus, carnations, and more beautiful blooms.

For the freaks in the sheets

We absolutely adore a vibe that’s water-resistant, USB-rechargeable, and designed for sexy friends with whatever kind of junk they’ve got in the trunk. Sometimes, a gift is for you to enjoy, too.

LELO makes some of the world’s most luxurious sex toys for couples, and its sleek Tiani Duo vibrator is almost $60 off. Just insert half of the whale tail vibe into your/your partner’s vagina, and let its two powerful motors work their magic. As LELO explains, they vibrate “in tandem, resulting in a dual sensation [that is] transmitted” to your clitoris and your partner’s nethers. Plus, it comes with a remote control. Kinky.

All hail this Lara Croft-worthy harness and vibrating dildo combo. There’s an entire VICE guide to the best strap-ons, dildos, and pegging gear, but this duo sure would make for a stand-out gift.

Help your boo lounge like royalty

Does your lover deserve to feel so goddamn luxurious they could lose their mind? Of course they do. Is there anything gayer than neon green satin? Obviously not. Rihanna knows what the queers want. What are you waiting for? Buy them all before Alan Cumming does.

May all your holidays be merry and gay!

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.