1. A compact Balmuda toaster that — according to reviewers — can take a 99-cent baguette and turn it into a boulangerie-worthy loaf.
2. A domed cake stand which will have you acting like a undercover operative as you stealthily sneak goodies in the middle of the night. Unless, of course, you live alone in which case make as much noise as you like!
3. A set of gold measuring cups and spoons that won't melt when oops! you accidentally leave them too close to the stove.
4. An Our Place Always Pan which will quickly become the Swiss Army knife of your kitchen. The gorg pan can replace up to eight pieces of cookware as it braises, sears, steams, strains, sautes, fries, boils, serves, and stores.
5. A moka espresso pot that — if you were also raised on late-'90s Disney — will likely give you major Rollie Pollie Ollie energy.
6. An iconic Le Creuset Dutch oven which one reviewer calls "the Bentley of cookware" and I'm not about to dispute that...
7. A silicone rainbow trivet made to protect your table from the scorching heat of an over-microwaved Hot Pocket (AKA molten lava straight from Earth's mantle).
8. A gooseneck electric kettle entrancing enough to help you wipe the sleep from your eyes every morning.
9. A Material cutting board made from three parts recycled plastic and one part renewable sugarcane which proves sustainable can be sexy.
10. A set of colorful Food52 knives that look like they were stolen from the prop table of a Wes Anderson film.
11. A marble mortar and pestle made to crush up whatever spices you like. It also works well with pills if your dog has outwitted your tuck-it-in-a-slice-of-cheese scheme.
12. A retro microwave that will add a certain je ne sais quoi to your two-ingredient, Taco Bell-style cheesy roll up. 👩🍳 💋
13. A KitchenAid stand mixer just begging you to try your hand at every Christina Tosi creation. Imagine a world in which you perfect Milk Bar's signature birthday cake and you can eat it whenever you want. 🍰 🤤
14. A retro toaster with pale pink controls and a Dalmatian-spotted finish that would send Cruella de Vil into a tizzy.
15. Or, if green is more your thing, a four-slice retro toaster with enough room to crisp sizable, NYC-style bagels — no smushing necessary.
16. A sleek, five-speed KitchenAid blender that won't even blink twice at whatever ingredients you like to add to your smoothie. If your current setup shudders at the thought of a single ice cube, it's worth the investment.
17. A double-walled glass pour-over ready to make three life-giving cups of coffee as soon as you crawl out of bed and get some water boiled.
18. Or, a pour-over Bodum coffee maker with a permanent filter and room for a substantial ~eight cups~ of get-up-and-go juice.
19. An Aarke carbonator that is so sleek, it straight up looks like you lifted it from your fave watering hole. If you enjoy the sweet, sweet burn of a carbonated beverage sliding down your gullet, this guy will be well-loved.
20. A Smeg milk frother so you can whip up a copycat version of Starbucks' sweet cream cold foam. One dollop of that stuff and you'll have no trouble drinking iced coffee at home.
21. A Carraway cookware set that not only comes with every pot and pan one could need, but storage solutions in the form of magnetic racks and a canvas lid holder.
22. A Great Jones casserole dish ready and waiting to bake up your signature dish: Frito pie. It may not be the most photogenic fare, but this baby will put in serious work as soon as it's placed in front of a camera.
23. A Welly water bottle that keeps things cold for sooo long, you'll never have to drink room-temperature water again (blechhh!).
24. A pack of bamboo chopsticks you can keep in color-coordinated pairs or mix and match like the twinless socks in your drawer.
25. A wooden egg holder that keeps your stash in easy view so you never have to deal with the day-ruining ordeal that is going to make banana bread and pulling out a near-empty egg carton.
26. A set of ceramic salt and pepper grinders I'm certain you've seen all over IG. Yes, they're LOL expensive, but look at 'em.
27. A set of bamboo plates that'll make you feel like you walked onto the soundstage of Saved By the Bell and straight into The Max — Bayside High's uber-cool hangout.
28. A starter matcha set with everything you need to whip up your favorite Shrek-colored drink. (I just don't get the appeal of matcha guys, sorry 🤷♀️.)
29. An eight-speed immersion blender you can use to froth milk, whisk eggs, or create your own baby food. Pureed chicken, anyone?
30. And a Breville espresso machine that will allow you to live out your barista fantasy in the comfort of your own home. As someone who had high school and college jobs at Dunkin' Donuts and Starbucks, I can tell you it's much more fun this way!!
You admiring your new-and-improved kitchen:
Some reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.