Day: 1. October 2016.

The social network has never become the online shopping emporium once predicted. Will its most ambitious strategy yet change all that?

Technology has been good to 1-800-Flowers. The company has long pioneered new ways of retailing, a toll-free number, direct sales via the internet. So when, in 2009, it opened its online store on Facebook the company was expecting another tech-based success. Like many others they found Facebook was a tough sell.

Related: Facebook and Google: most powerful and secretive empires we’ve ever known

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It has almost no acceleration in any gear – it behaves as though it’s carrying too much luggage and an unusual family member

My initial thought was that the Honda Jazz was nothing like jazz. Then I remembered the definition in the Magnetic Fields song: “It’s divine, it’s asinine, it’s depressing / And it’s almost entirely window dressing / But it’ll do” – and thought maybe that was the reference. Although you wouldn’t call it divine.

It is small, but it has no nip. In fact, it has almost no acceleration in any gear, and a bossy LED display constantly tells you to go up a gear when you feel as though you’re almost out of puff in the one you’re in. Setting off on a journey is like driving your regular car after packing it for a holiday: it behaves as though it’s carrying too much luggage and an unusual family member.

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